How to Teach Kids the Importance of Sharing Toys and Building Empathy
As a parent or caregiver, one of the most important lessons we can teach our kids is the value of sharing. While it might seem like a small gesture, sharing toys is a critical skill that lays the foundation for empathy, social interaction, and emotional development. But how exactly do we teach our children the significance of sharing, especially when they seem more focused on keeping their toys to themselves? Let’s explore some practical, fun, and effective ways to guide kids towards understanding the importance of sharing toys.
1. Lead by Example: Kids Learn from What They See
As much as we wish for our kids to share without hesitation, we must remember that children often learn by observing those around them. This means that we, as parents, need to set the example. Whenever you're with your children, try to demonstrate sharing in your own actions. Whether it’s sharing a snack with a partner, offering a toy to a sibling, or even sharing time or attention, your child will notice and begin to understand that sharing is a natural and positive part of life.
One day, while my daughter was playing with her toy cars, I noticed her reluctance to share them with her younger brother. Instead of getting frustrated, I took a moment to share my own things with her. I showed her how I shared my phone with her for a fun game and how her brother was included in the fun. Watching me share in such a casual, happy way helped her understand that sharing can be both enjoyable and beneficial for everyone involved.
2. Create Opportunities for Sharing During Playtime
Children often struggle with the concept of sharing when they feel a strong attachment to a toy. To help them practice, it's essential to create opportunities for sharing within the safety of their playtime. You can encourage sharing by playing with them and gently prompting them to take turns or offer a toy to someone else. It's helpful to incorporate toys that require two or more players to get the full experience. For example, board games, building sets, or group puzzles can be excellent ways to promote sharing.
At one playdate, my son and his friend were both interested in the same action figure. Instead of making them argue over it, I created a mini "sharing challenge" by saying, "Let's see who can make the action figure do the funniest dance. Then we’ll switch turns!" The idea was simple, but it worked wonders. The focus shifted from the toy itself to the experience, and both kids happily shared the toy. This strategy helped them develop a cooperative mindset and also taught them the value of taking turns.
3. Reinforce Positive Behavior with Praise
Whenever your child shares a toy or takes turns with a friend or sibling, be sure to praise them for their effort. Positive reinforcement plays a huge role in shaping their behavior. Let them know that you noticed their good deed by saying things like, "I’m so proud of you for sharing with your sister" or "That was a kind thing to do, letting your friend play with your toy." Positive feedback makes kids feel good about their actions, and they’re more likely to repeat them in the future.
I remember when my daughter first started sharing her dolls with her younger cousin. It was a huge step for her, as she had always been quite possessive of her toys. I made sure to celebrate the moment by giving her a big hug and saying how proud I was of her. Over time, she became more confident in sharing, and it wasn’t long before she was teaching her little brother how to share, too. That moment of praise helped her build a sense of pride in her actions and a deeper understanding of the joy that comes from sharing.
4. Use Storytelling to Illustrate the Benefits of Sharing
Kids love stories, and one of the best ways to teach them about sharing is through storytelling. You can either read books about sharing or create your own stories based on their favorite toys. By showing how characters in the story share with one another, children can see firsthand the positive impact of sharing.
One of my go-to methods was telling bedtime stories about two animal friends who shared everything, from food to toys. For example, in one of the stories, a lion and a zebra found a beautiful ball but could not decide who should keep it. After a bit of disagreement, they both realized that they could have more fun playing with the ball together. The story illustrated how sharing can strengthen friendships and make experiences more enjoyable.
5. Explain the Emotional Benefits of Sharing
Children often understand emotions better when they’re linked to concrete actions. While it may be difficult for them to fully grasp abstract concepts like "empathy," they can easily relate to how sharing makes them feel. Teach your child that sharing toys isn’t just about giving something away; it’s about making others happy, forming bonds, and building trust. When they share, they create moments of joy for others, and that in turn makes them feel good too.
For instance, after my son shared his toy truck with a friend, I asked him how he felt. He said, “I feel happy because my friend smiled.” This was a breakthrough moment. By verbalizing his feelings, he made the connection between his actions and the positive impact they had on others. This emotional awareness is crucial for developing empathy and understanding the broader effects of sharing.
6. Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries
While teaching your child about sharing is important, it’s also necessary to establish boundaries. Not all toys need to be shared, especially when the child is not ready or is too attached to a particular item. It’s important to explain to your child that there are situations where sharing is appropriate, but there are also times when it's okay to have personal space and keep certain toys to themselves. Setting these boundaries helps children feel secure and understand that sharing is a choice, not an obligation.
For example, I made it clear to my daughter that her special stuffed animal, which she slept with every night, was a toy that she didn’t have to share. However, when it came to her building blocks or play kitchen, those toys were meant to be enjoyed with friends and family. This balance helped her feel more comfortable with the idea of sharing, knowing that she still had some control over her possessions.
7. Turn Sharing into a Fun Game
Sometimes, the best way to teach a lesson is through play. Turn sharing into a game that’s both fun and educational. You can create challenges or competitions where the goal is to share or take turns. For example, you could set up a sharing race, where your child has to share their toys with family members as quickly as possible. The faster they share, the more points they earn. Not only does this make sharing more engaging, but it also creates a sense of accomplishment when your child shares successfully.
My kids love a game we call “Sharing Tag.” In this game, whoever is “it” has to share a toy with another person before they can tag them. It’s a fun way to reinforce sharing in a playful environment, and it always leads to lots of laughter and bonding.
Conclusion
Teaching kids to share toys is not always easy, but it’s an essential part of their development. By leading by example, creating opportunities for sharing, using positive reinforcement, and making the learning process fun, we can help our children embrace the joy of sharing and build meaningful social connections. With time, patience, and a bit of creativity, our kids will not only learn the importance of sharing but will also develop strong empathy and communication skills that will last a lifetime.
